Well what a shit day it has been today. Lee decided that we should not be together anymore. He reckons his girlfriend is suspicious of his behaviour. So she should be the stupid cow! He had ended it before but this time feels different. I haven’t told him about the baby. I haven’t told anyone. I’m 15 years old ffs. My mother is going to go crazy when she finds out. No way am I having an abortion. Not going to happen. Why is everything going so wrong. I wish I’d never met him, I don’t even know if I loved him. Arrogant arsehole! I’m going to go eat some pizza and watch Pitch Perfect, that’ll cheer me up.
It’s been a while I know but man I have been so poorly. My mum thinks I have had non stop stomach bugs. She even took me to the Doctor who thinks I have something called IBS and certain foods are making me ill. I have a small bump now which is getting harder to hide. I have been saving for the last few months. The pleasure of having a rich family means lots of money available. I am going to run away. I saw Lee a Month ago. He had me against a tree, I missed his touch but he said it was a mistake, I still didn’t tell him about the baby. The sex made me feel good for a while anyway.
Today is the day! I’m leaving! Packed all my stuff and bought a tent. Not sure where I will go but I’m 16 tomorrow. Legally I am good and being pregnant I look older. I will go see a Dr when I get to where I am going.
06. 5. 17
I am massive. Took me a while to write again as life got busy. I am staying in a town many miles from where I was. I have a little bedsit and part-time job in a cafe. I have seen the Dr and Midwives. The baby is due around 15th June. Not long to go now. I ran my mum told her I was pregnant and not coming back. She hung up on me and called me a disgrace. Least I know she won’t argue to have me back. I started buying bits of baby stuff. People here have been really helpful with things. An old lady Elsie lives next door and she has knit me alsorts of baby stuff and bought a crib. Maybe life won’t be so bad.
My life is amazing. I had a baby girl, her name is Elizabeth and she weighed 5lb 3oz. She was so small. I have never felt anything like this. I want to protect her forever. I ran my mum to tell her my news but she wasn’t interested. I don’t understand it, now I’m a mother I couldn’t imagine ever shunning Elizabeth.
I am allowed to go back to my cafe job in a few months. I’ll need the money. They said I can take the baby with me so I don’t have to find childcare. They gave me £1000 when she was born to help out. These people are like a second family. I hope when my angel gets older she finds friends like this. Who needs family.
Thanks for reading